Everybody's Fool
by The Quiet Shadow XVII
Summary: Akatsuki as Dragon Riders. Uhmm... the original Eragon characters ARE mentioned. Bwaha, more victims for my insanity. Anyway, title has nothing to do with story. Maybe. I'm just braindead rght now. ;D SasoDei DeiSaso M for language, etc. I OWN NOTHING.
1. Start Of a New Life

Well, here's a random one. I was watching The Lord of the Rings; The Return of the King (best fucking movie) and totally thought of an Eragon/Naruto crossover fic. Also, I'm going to be using the book as a reference a lot, but if I get anything wrong, correct me please. And they haven't come out with Book Four yet, so I'm just making Eragon temporary king… and THERE WILL BE YAOI BETWEEN PROBABLY MOST OF THE GUYS, AS IN SASORI, DEIDARA, MURTAGH, ERAGON, ETC!!!!!! Murtagh, care to do the disclaimer?

Murtagh: Kelly does NOT own Naruto, the Akatsuki, or Eragon, Eldest, or Brisingr. If she did, all of the characters would be gay. –glares at me- Bitch.

Me: Get over it, Toggy.

Murtagh: Toggy? The hell?

Me: ONWARD!

Pairings: SASODEI!!!!!!!!, Murtagh/Eragon, Roran/Katrina (obviously), Pein/Konan, KisaIta, KakuHidan, SasuNaru, etc

Chapter 1 Start of a New Life

The moon was shining bright in the small town of Therinsford, which was just south of Carvahall, now destroyed, where the king, Eragon Shadeslayer grew up and found his dragon, Saphira. It was a peaceful night, not to be disturbed by agony, or the kind of things that existed three years before, when Galbatorix was still king. However, just outside of the town, one would see a flash of blonde hair in the trees, where most hunted for deer and such.

Deidara drew an arrow from the sling across his back and aimed it at a large jackrabbit that was sniffing around a log. He aimed carefully and timed his attack. If he shot right now, the rabbit would sense the arrow and move. He had to wait until the rabbit began moving….

Suddenly, something rustled and the rabbit shot off. He aimed his arrow six feet in front of the rabbit and released his arrow. It soared through the air and hit the rabbit straight through the heart. Deidara smirked, tossed his long blonde hair and went to retrieve his prey. He put it in the small animal section of his medium-sized pack. He lived alone, with nobody to feed aside from himself, so the rabbit would be fine. Still, though, something was nagging at the back of his head. What had made that rustling?

He carefully moved in the direction of where it came from and pushed the brush aside. He gasped slightly at a perfectly round stone that was the orange-ish gold color of fire. Sweet. Deidara _was_ a pyromaniac, after all.

He carefully picked it up and put it in his pack, away from where the rabbit was.

~x~

As Deidara arrived at the small cottage he built for himself- well, more of a hut than cottage, but it was perfect for the blonde- he saw somebody waiting there for him. It was Kulty, the village blacksmith. (K/N: Cut me some slack. I'm brain dead at the moment, yeesh.)

"Deidara," he said, nodding.

"Kulty, un," replied Deidara, smiling at the man.

Kulty had always been there for Deidara, so naturally, he liked the man. Kulty had raised Deidara until Deidara decided to move out and build his own house at age thirteen.

_Four years ago…_ thought Deidara.

"How can I help you?" he asked politely, wishing nothing more than to go inside and investigate the stone more.

"I was wondering if you had heard of the new Rider," said Kulty.

"No," said Deidara. "When did this happen, un?"

"I just found out today. They say his name is Sasori and his dragon is Hiruko. Apparently, they're both real beauties. I don't know much 'bout what Sasori looks like, but 'parently, Hiruko is a stunning silver (K/N: You know, like Sasori's eyes sometimes.). What I would give to see something like that…"

"I hear you," agreed Deidara. "Well, not to be rude or anything, Kulty, but I'm extremely tired. Just got back from hunting, so can we finish this conversation tomorrow, un?"

"Sure, no problem, Dei!" said Kulty cheerfully. "See you 'round, son!"

Deidara smiled and went into his house. He liked it when Kulty called him 'son'. It made him feel like he was worth something.

Deidara set down his pack, pulled out the rabbit, put it in the icebox he had, then pulled out the stone. He lit a candle and stared intently at it. Was it…? No, it couldn't be! And if it were, it wouldn't hatch for a lonely farm boy like Deidara. Deidara didn't have luck like that.

"Only people like Eragon and Sasori get that kind of luck," he whispered, mainly to the egg/stone.

Then it shuddered.

_What..? _Wondered Deidara as it shuddered again, then a large crack appeared in it.

It shuddered a third time, then became still. Deidara cautiously neared it. Then, it shattered, revealing a small baby dragon lying in some weird goop on his floor.

It was the exact same shade as fire.

"This—this is impossible, un!" gasped Deidara.

A lonely, poor farm boy with no family whatsoever a Dragon Rider?! It was unheard of!

He was pulled out of his thoughts when something white-hot seared through his body, then vanished, leaving a tingly feeling. He looked at the dragon and saw that it has sniffed his right palm, then cautiously nudged it, which was the cause of the searing pain.

"Great, now I'm a Dragon Rider," said Deidara monotonously. "I can hear it now 'Local freak is new Dragon Rider!' I hate my life."

The dragon stared up at him with large, fiery eyes, as if it understood, then cuddled up to him. It seemed like it was trying to comfort him. Deidara couldn't help but smile at the small dragon and pet it affectionately.

~x~

Over the next few weeks, the dragon grew at an alarming rate. Deidara decided it was time to name it, for now the dragon's head reached his shoulder and stayed in the woods. Fortunately, it was summer, so no worries about it freezing. The wolves weren't a problem either. One day, Deidara came to the small cave he found for the dragon, and there was a small wolf carcass that it was feeding on.

"Okay, name time," he said to it.

Its eyes seemed to light up and it flapped its wings joyfully. He laughed a bit and patted the dragon's head.

"Hmm… maybe Glaedr? After the dragon that helped Eragon learn so much, un?"

The dragon looked offended and snorted, a small plume of smoke shooting from its small nostrils.

"Troponze?" asked Deidara, a random name coming to his head.

Again, the dragon snorted.

Twenty-two names later, Deidara sighed.

"Fine, Katsu?"

The dragon looked up and grinned wolfishly. It- she, rather- liked the name.  
"Katsu it is, then, un," smiled Deidara.

_Deidara,_ a voice said softly in his head.

Deidara looked around, alarmed, then looked at Katsu.

"Was that you, un?" he asked her.

She nodded her head.

"You talk?"

Nod.

"Can you say anything else, un?"

_Can you say any-thi-in-guh else, un?_ repeated Katsu, having small troubles with the big words.

"Without copying me!" snapped Deidara, scowling at Katsu's amused look. "Katsu, this will be hell, won't it, un?"

Nod.

~x~

As the wind blew through his hair, Sasori gazed toward the ground nervously.

_Hiruko, why do you think King Eragon called me to him?_ asked the redhead nervously.

_Who knows?_ replied Hiruko is in velvety voice. _Probably wants to meet the newest Dragon Rider._

Sasori smirked. Hiruko knew it was unlike him to be so out of character, so generally, the young, yet wise, dragon was worried. He soared over the trees of Ellesmera toward Queen Islanzadi's castle, where Eragon was currently residing. As Hiruko landed, Sasori noticed a dark-haired Elf with onyx eyes rush up to meet him, a blue-eyed, blonde-haired Elf beside him.

"Atra esterni ono thelduin, Sasori-vodhr," said the dark-haired Elf, touching his first two fingers to his lips.

"Atra du evarinya on varda," replied Sasori, his eyes raking over both of them. (K/N: I think I may have gotten the greetings mixed….. O.o)

The blonde shivered under his gaze and pressed against the teller Elf.

"I am Sasuke Fugakusson," said the dark haired one. "My companion" he cast a look of affection at the blonde "is Naruto Sonofnone. But we'd rather go by our ancestral names, Uchiha and Uzumaki."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Sasori. "This is Hiruko."

"Sasuke," said a stern voice. "Why keep the royal guest waiting? Eragon may get impatient."

"Itachi, you're so paranoid," said Sasuke, rolling his eyes at the taller, raven-haired man who walked toward them.

Itachi repeated the traditional greeting to Sasori.

"Are you a Rider as well?" asked Sasori boredly.

"Yes," replied Itachi. "My dragon is Mangekyo. Sasuke's is Sharingan and Naruto's is Kyuubi. Kyuubi is a son of Saphira and Thorn's. There was another egg, which is believed to have hatched. King Eragon will soon clarify that for us. Follow me, if you will."

Sasori nodded and followed the raven, a disgruntled Hiruko following them, Sasuke and Naruto following shortly.

_Sorry, Hiruko,_ said Sasori. _I shouldn't have ignored you._

_It's fine, Sasori,_ replied Hiruko, humming low in his chest.

They entered the large space where the Queen usually stayed and found Islanzadi, Eragon, Saphira, and Arya there, as well as Angela the witch. Itachi and Sasori bowed and repeated the greeting once more.

"Sasori," said Eragon, his dark eyes examining his every last detail. "Not bad. Saphira, what do you think?"

He looked at the sapphire blue dragon, who nodded her head approvingly and spoke openly to everyone.

_He's good. His mind is sharper than most new Rider's minds should be,_ she said idly. _Hello, Hiruko._

_Saphira,_ replied Hiruko, putting his front paw out and lowering the front part of his body in a dragon-bow. _I have been very eager to meet you._

"So, Sasori, you're wondering why I called you here?" asked Eragon, smiling kindly at the shorter redhead.

Sasori nodded.

"Well, first off, I wanted to meet you, and now that we're well met," said Eragon, "the last of Saphira's eggs has hatched."

"Really?" asked Sasori. "Where?"

"In Therinsford," replied Eragon, "a small village just south of where mine used to be before the former king's men destroyed it to get to me."

"How is this for sure?" asked Itachi.

"Eragon scryed the egg," answered Arya. "When he did, it happened to be right when the egg was hatching. Ironic, no?"

"Who did it hatch for?" asked Naruto eagerly.

_It- rather, she, hatched for a farm boy much like Eragon when he was younger,_ answered Saphira. _Only, he has no family and fends for himself. His name is Deidara Iwa. He named her Katsu, though Eragon thinks Brisingr would be a much better name, due to her color and personality._

"Until I found out she was a girl," muttered Eragon sheepishly.

"Anyway, Sasori," said Arya. "You will join an elite group of Riders, namely the Akatsuki, to fetch Deidara and Katsu. They will also extend your training, as well. Are we at an understanding?"

"Yes, Arya-Drottningu," said Sasori.

As her turned to leave with Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto, Arya called out to him again.

"Oh, and Sasori?"

"Yes?"

"Just call me Arya. I hate the formalities."

He nodded.

"Sasori!"

He turned back once more, but found it was Angela, the witch, who had called him this time.

She smiled brightly and said,

"Impatience is unhealthy, and 'Danna' seems to fit you."

She turned away, laughing, as her were cat, Solembum sauntered into the clearing.

~x~

Mwahahahahaha, you like? I know, it was crap. I'll probably continue this one, cuz it's awesome and I've always wanted to write a yaoi/Eragon/Naruto fic. Just so you know, this is Akatsuki-based, but other characters from Naruto will be mentioned. Most likely, a good percentage of Eragon characters (Arya, Queen Islanzadi, Nasuada, etc) will be mentioned, k? And if a character dies or a specific event happens in the fourth book, I have no intention of coming back and editing this, okay?

Reviews are nice, flames will be used for love-making.

Fanart is AWESOME!!!


	2. Beauty Upon Meeting

Hey I'm back! Run for your lives!!! Onoez, Ima eachoo!!

Sasori: Not surprising.

Me: Loser. –glares at him-

Deidara: Onward, un!

Here's a random quote to entertain you guys:

"Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!  
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.  
Wednesday: They had sex."

-Addams Family Values

Chapter 2. Beauty Upon Meeting

_(Two weeks after the Akatsuki's departure)_

"Katsu, I wanna try riding you, un," said Deidara, looking at the dragon, who was about twenty feet above him, flying gracefully through the autumn air. He knew she could hear him.

They were at the base of the Spine, a place Deidara had never been before, but had always wanted to go into.

'_We will go in there sometime,_' she said, images of rabbits and deer running through the trees filling the blonde's mind.

'_Don't change the subject,_' he laughed. '_Can I ride you or not, un?_'

'_I guess,_' she replied, descending.

Katsu landed a few feet before him. Deidara walked beside her and cautiously placed his foot in a slightly muscular hollow just above her shoulder. He swung his leg over her back and then grabbed one of the large spikes protruding from her spine tightly.

'_Ready?_' her voice filled his head, excitement coloring it.

'_Yes,_' he replied nervously.

With a light roar, she spread her wings and leapt into the air. Deidara tightened his knees and looked around. He could see Therinsford, and panicked.

'_Katsu, can't they see you, un?_' he asked.

'_No,_' she answered. '_They'll think I'm not but a large raptor by the Spine._'

'_Okay,_' he said, smiling to himself.

~x~

"Is that the fucking place?" asked a voice.

Sasori turned angrily to glare at Hidan, the albino zealot who worshipped a god nobody had heard of (and named his Dragon after) and had a swearing problem.

"Yes," snarled Sasori.

Their leader, Pein, a slender Elf with bright orange hair and a ton of facial piercings, sighed.

"Hidan, Sasori, cool it," he said, "Rin'negan (sp?) has an announcement."

Sasori looked at the large gray Dragon expectantly. Rin'negan's color was much duller than Hiruko's and he was much larger too.

'_Look to the Spine,_' he said, and waited till the eight Humans or Elves had obliged and seven Dragons had as well, before continuing. '_Do you see what's flying above it?_'

"A large raptor?" guessed the only female, Konan, her hand on Kochou(1), her ocean-blue Dragon.

'_Nay,_' said Rin'negan, '_that be Katsu. She has Deidara on her back. See her landing. She senses out presence._'

"So who is to go?" asked Sasori.

"Well, we all have partners, and you don't, thus you needing one, so you," said Pein, smirking.

Sasori sighed. "Fine. What of Hiruko?"

"I'll watch him for you," said the strangest Elf of the eight, Zetsu.

His left side was stark white and his right side was pitch black. He had green hair and yellow eyes. Oh, he was a sight to see.(2)

"Thanks, Zetsu," said Sasori, smiling as he stood.

He slung his bow across his torso and put his arrow sling across his back, then slid his dagger into his boot.

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Just because Eragon is king doesn't mean Alagaesia is completely safe," sighed Sasori as he marched down the hill.

~x~

'_Calm down and tell me _exactly_ what is going on, Katsu, un,_' said Deidara, looking at the panicking Dragoness.

'_There are other Dragons near_,' she cried. '_I don't know who they are. I withdrew from their consciousnesses when they tried to contact me!_'

'_Ugh, you could've at _least_ seen what they wanted, un,_' sighed Deidara, trying not to get mad. She was only a month, after all.

'_Go home,_' she urged, '_I'll hide._'

With that, she took off into the sky toward the Spine.

Deidara tried to call her back, but she closed her mind to him.

"Dammit," he growled as he ran back to his small hut.

He closed the door behind him and grabbed his small hunting dagger and his bow. It wouldn't do much against a trained Rider, but he could try.

Suddenly, there was a knock at his door.

Deidara slid his dagger into his belt and held his bow tightly in one hand, six arrows in the other.

"Who's there?" he asked.

"Is this the home of Deidara Iwa?" asked a smooth –coughcough sexii coughcough- voice.

"What be the consequences if I say aye, un?" asked Deidara.

"None," replied the voice.

"Aye," said Deidara, his hand tightening around his bow.

"Well, Deidara Iwa, I am Sasori Akasuna," replied the voice.

"Prove it, un," said Deidara suspiciously.

There was a mutter of a strange language and the door opened on its own. Deidara was speechless when he saw who was there.

He was the most beautiful person Deidara had ever seen. He had messy red hair and beautiful chocolate brown eyes. He was about Deidara's height, if not a bit shorter. He was garbed in a beautiful tunic that was black with a strange red and white cloud on it. He had a bow and arrow sling across his torso.

'_Damn,_' said Katsu. '_He's not an Elf, but how is he so goddamn beautiful?_'

'_Language,_' replied Deidara sternly.

"How can you prove you're Sasori Akasuna, un?" asked Deidara uneasily, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

~x~

Sasori smirked at the embarrassed blonde.

'_So cute,_' he said to Hiruko.

'_Mm…_' agreed Hiruko. '_I told you that you were gay._'

'_Shut up,_' snarled Sasori.

He held up his right palm to show his mark.

"King Eragon sent me and seven others to fetch you," said Sasori, smiling slightly.

"What, un?" gasped Deidara.

~x~

Haha, cliffy. Damn, this took a while because I kept having the Humans talk to each other like 'this' instead of like "this". Bothersome, really.

Hiruko is rather fun to write, though he's not had a major part yet. I am, in fact, working on Misery Business after I post this, so Ja Ne!


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